EPISODE ONE

…………………8 weeks later.
SEGE: onihaxy, I don dey notice you all these days
ooooo
ME: wetin happen? ***raised eyebrow***
SEGE: since that bimpe Dam don comot, you just dey
dull this days.
ME: hmmmmmm
SEGE: this one no be the matter of “hmmmmmmm”,
you sure say that girl never wash pant inside food for
you?, infact, I dey suspect say she don lace her
pusssy with juju.
ME: not really jaree. I just like bimpe and I keep
thinking about her. I don’t know why sha.
SEGE: **** laughs loudly*** hahahahahahahahaha.
My Baddest Maga ever liveth, I know say no be the
girl dey worry you, na her pusssy, hahahahaha
****pats me on the laps and kept laughing****
ME: stop that jaree.
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. Chaii, na so her toto sweet
reach??, onihaxy talk true, e be like say that girl dey
give you special deliveries on bed.
ME: “segun je ka serious jaree” I just love this girl
sha, I don’t know why I can’t take her off my mind.
SEGE: guy, tell me say na joke!!
ME: segun, no be joke, I don tell you something like
this before?.
SEGE: ***hissed*** “ode”, instead of you to go for an
H.I.V test abi na AIDS dem dey call am, you are here
mourning about one Dam.
ME: you won’t understand sha.
SEGE: hahahahahaha, why won’t I understand?, e be
like say you were destined to be her maga for life.
ME: no segun, I always have this feelings that the
judgement we gave her was too harsh.
SEGE: and so?, “iyen o kan aye men”. That is the
minimum judgement a Dam deserves,
ME: stop it jor.
SEGE: she should thank her stars that it wasn’t in
the period that I was desperate to have money, I for
don take her do rituals.
ME: segun haba!!!.
SEGE: na so now. I no know why you carry sword-
man’s abandon Kitty-Cat for head like this?, you don
dey craze oo Mr maga
ME: segun you know what? ****adjusted my sitting
position****, I keep wondering how she would get
back to port-harcourt without T.fare as she didn’t
have money on her.
SEGE: that one simple now, no be runs girl she be?,
sebi na to sell her toto give two or three guys for
bustop and make money.
ME: segun!!!!!!!!
SEGE: yes now mr maga, or patapata e, she go sell
her phone to make money, maybe that’s why her
number no dey go again sef?.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmm!. Oga oooo.
SEGUN : ogbeni forget matter jaree, I dey go my
house to prepare for tomorrow’s work.
ME: ok jaree padi e,
SEGUN: mr maga, you no go see me off?
ME: ***frowned*** no dey call me “maga” again jor, I
no like am jare.
SEGE: you dey craze, na certified maga you be. If not
for me, maybe you for don sell all your properties
give bimpe.
ME: na you sabi. Let me see you off.
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. If you like, kill yourself ontop
one yeye bimpe ooo, you hear!!!!. Who knows?, maybe
she dey ontop another dicck right now rocking
cowgirl’s style. Abi no be that girl?
ME: wetin do am?
SEGE: chaiiii, that girl fit Bleep ontop transformer
ooooo.
ME: ***laughs*** segun, na you sabi, come dey go
your house abeg. I will branch at your place
tomorrow when I’m coming back from work.
SEGE: no wahala mr maga “hahahahaha”. My regards
to adebimpe oooooo. Hahahahaha.
ME: you no well.
Segun left my house, I sat down on my chair and
began to review all that happened between me and
adebimpe.
**********************************
After segun’s departure, I began to reason and think of
why I still loved this girl despite all what she did to me,
the more I think of her, the more I was lost in my
thoughts. I couldn’t figure out what really could prompt
such feelings. “Could she had jazzed me?”
“Maybe segun was right sha!”
“Abi she truly laced her Kitty-Cat?”
“Abi na the waist bead she used?”
“But the judgement was harsh oo”
“But she deserved it na”
“But she is pretty and cute oo”
“What if she was flirting secretly?”
“What if I didn’t find out?”.
“Who knows if she might change?”
“Who know if she had cursed me?”
“How did she get to PH sef?”
“Abi she was killed ni?”
“Maybe she is dead at the moment?”
“Her number no dey go again”
“Even her FB has been dormant”
“But I liked that girl oooo”
“She is really smart sha”
“It takes only smart girl to play game”
I was lost in thoughts and asking myself all sort
rhetorical questions and there was no one beside me to
provide answers to it.
I picked my phone to check her profile on my facebook
but I couldn’t see her on my friend list and search
results. I tried checking again and the result was still
empty. It was then that I remembered that she had
blocked me on the same day segun sent her away.
I tried logging in into her account but the screen was
showing “incorrect password”. **chaiii, this girl don
change password sha*****
I created another facebook account and searched for
her name from my new account and it was displayed,
but the account was dormant for the past 5 weeks. No
new update, no new uploads.
I dropped the phone and while I was still lost in my
thoughts about Adebimpe, my phone was ringing, I
moved closer to the bed to see who was calling and I
was shocked to see the name that appeared on the
screen.
I looked at the screen of my phone. It was kemi. I also
met kemi online before my encounter with bimpe. She
claimed to be based in lagos according to her back
then when we met 9 months ago.
She told me she was a fashion designer and also a
part time student of yabatech at the same time. After
3 weeks of chating when we met, she sent her phone
number to me on facebook after several pleas. Our
friendship became interesting that we were fond of
each other, I would always call her in the morning,
afternoon, and night. I would sent series of sms to
kemi and she would also send hers.
After few weeks of friendship, I asked her out and she
gave me a pending response. I never gave up on kemi
as I kept pressurising her to be mine, convincing her
with sweet and mouth-watering talks. I never seized to
bombard her with my specially designed love sms.
Alas, she finally agreed to be my girlfriend and the
official E-dating started 6 months ago..
At the beginning of the E-dating, everything was going
smooth, I was always looking forward to the day I
would get to see kemi face to face. We began to plan
how we would meet and I never had the feelings that it
was a distance affairs, I always have this possibility
and positivity kind of mindset that we would be
together someday no matter how long the “E-dating”
lasted.
About 2 month into the relationship, things began to
get complicated. Kemi no longer call or text me like
she used to do before, conversation began to get
boring as the day passes by and to crown it all, kemi
would always be on my neck for airtime credits.
At first, I didn’t find any fault or problem in sending
airtime to her. I had this mentality that she is my
girlfriend and I am responsible for recharging her phone
so that other guys wouldn’t snatch her from me. But
along the line, I was getting uncomfortable with the
card of a thing. Kemi would not call on a good day to
greet me on check on me, anytime my phone rings and
I picked, the conversation is always “baby please send
me card”, and the funniest thing was that she would
only flash me or call to tell me “baby, I have seen the
card, thanks” and she would hang up. It was when she
needed another card that she would dial my number
again. The whole thing got boring to me and I began to
loose interest in kemi gradually, it got to a time that I
stopped calling her also. When she calls to ask for
airtime as usual, I would promise her that I would send
it and ended up not sending anything, when she finally
realized that airtime isn’t coming forth from me
anymore, the communication was broken finally as she
no longer calls again neither do I call her also. And 4
months ago was the last time we spoke together.
Seeing her call again, I was shocked and surprised, I
was like “so this girl still have my number all this
while?”. I stopped thinking about bimpe and I picked
the call.
ME: hello
KEMI: hi onihaxy, nawa for you oooo, you didn’t even
bother to call me again. This is unfair
ME: I’m so sorry kemi, I lost my phone, and I got a new
phone and lost the former contacts.
KEMI: onihaxy!!!!!!!, so how did you know its me.
ME: I recognised your voice, I got to know that its you
when you said “hello” KEMI: ok dear, how are you?, I
have missed you ooooo.
ME: ****yinmu, “oloshi, may thunder fire you if you
demand for card again today”****** I missed you too
dear.
KEMI: I just called to tell you that I’m attending a
wedding in akure next weekend. I would see you when
I’m around.
ME: its ok, can’t wait to see you.
KEMI: are you sure?
ME: yes
KEMI: ok dear. Baby please help me with little airtime
please.
ME: ***oloshi****, ok, but not now
KEMI: when?, I need it urgently please.
ME: I’m not at home at the moment and I didn’t go
with my wallet, maybe when I get back home sha.
KEMI: thanks dear, I will be expecting it. Can’t wait to
see you next weekend.
ME: can’t wait to see you too. Bye
KEMI: bye ***hanged up******
Yeah, its time for me to get a “pension sex” for all my
wasted investment***********************

EPISODE TWO

After the call that evening, I dropped my phone on
the bed, I began to contemplate on whether to send
the card or not. I think back to the past and I
remembered that she had bad records when it come
to lies. Kemi had lied so many times to me just to
get recharge cards. I could remembered vividly the
day she called me at 10pm that she needed N400mtn
card to call her families and inform them that her
mother was critically ill and needed medical attention
urgently, I was shocked and began to shiver that
night, “oooh, God please save my future mother inlaw
for me ooo, I don’t want to loose her at the moment”
I was running helter skater to get the recharge card
that night. I had to rush down to the ATM to make a
VTU transfer when I couldn’t see a vendor. After
transferring the card to her, she didn’t call me and I
didn’t have any airtime on my phone to call her. I had
to use a neighbour’s phone to call her. I intentionally
adjust my voice when I called her.
ME: hello kemi,
KEMI: who is this? *****is he the one calling?******
“another lady was asking her at the background”
ME: ***angried and amazed*** its me kunle
KEMI: ***replied the other lady, “No, its not him, its
another person”**** kunle from where please?
ME: from lagos.
KEMI: can’t recollect such identity. How did you get
my number please? *****the background lady: cut
him off jaree and let’s call another person****
Hello, pls call me tomorrow morning. I’m busy at the
moment
ME: ok ****hanged up****.
From the little drama. I knew it already that I was
played. But I was blinded with love to express my
feelings.
All the memories of her past lies was flashing back
in my brain. Then I thought of it again, “what if her
next visitation is actually true?”. I began to imagine
the pictures of her gorgeous look and endowed
packages I had been seeing on her facebook profile, I
began to imagine myself squeezing and
experimenting her killer “ukwu”. Immediately, I
became totally confused on whether to send the card
or not?. After few minutes of contemplating, then I
remembered I have a friend who once delivered me
from a scammer. Then I decided to chat with “sege”
on whatsapp concerning kemi’s matter.
ME: ogbeni how far?
SEGE: oko bimpe, I dey oooooo.
ME: you know well, who be oko bimpe?
SEGE: eeeh, sorry, Mr maga I mean jaree
ME: you no well ni
SEGE: loooool
ME: errrhhhm, you still remember this girl, kemi?
SEGE: who is kemi?
ME: that my babe wey I tell you say she dey stay for
lag na.
SEGE: I no remember ooo.
ME: the one I met before bimpe na.
SEGE: oooooooooooooh, that your recharge card
babe abi?.
ME: yeah
SEGE: wetin do her?
ME: she just called me say she dey come akure next
weekend
SEGE: that one nice na. Na kitten weekend be that
for you na.
ME: you no well
SEGE: are you guys still dating?
ME: we never broke up before, we only stopped
communicating with each other
SeGE: and wetin be that one?, no be break-up be
that.
ME: that one aside jaree. She said I should send her
airtime.
SEGE: hmmmmm. I trust you say you don send am
already.
ME: no oooo, I am contemplating on whether to send
or not.
SEGE: that babe na cheap airtime scammer. But
since she talk say she dey come akure, risk this last
one and send like 200mtn sha. Atleast to pour water
on ground and then walk on wet ground.
ME: thanks jaree my guy.
SEGE: I hear. But don’t send another airtime again
until you set your eyes on her oooooo.
ME: I hear.
The following morning on my way to work, I stopped
at a vendor and got a N200 airtime for kemi. As
usual, she only called to thank me in 12 seconds and
later hanged up. 3days gone and I didn’t hear from
kemi again until the 4th night which was thursday
night when she called me again.
ME: hello dear, how are you?
KEMI: I’m fine dear, thanks for the other day
ME: you are welcome dear
KEMI: I also want to remind you that I would be
around next weekend oooo. And you will talk me out
and buy gifts for me ooo.
ME: no problem dear.
KEMI: thanks love. I’m missing you seriously
ME: same here
KEMI: that’s my baby. Errrrrrhmm honey, can you
please help me with a little airtime please?, even if it
is just N200 please.
Recharge card again?, what do I do this time?, segun
must not hear this, and I don’t want her to change
her mind about coming over to see me, but seriously,
I was tired of this airtime demands of a thing but at
the same time, I wanted to fucck kemi.
I decided to risk it again and transfer N100 airtime to
her from my phone. One thing about kemi was that,
whenever she gets an airtime below what she
requested for, she would never call back to
appreciate but if she gets the exact amount she
requested for, she would call back and spend
maximum of 30seconds on a call. After the transfer,
she didn’t call back as usual and I ignored her.
On saturday, I went to visit segun and we had a chat
about kemi. I told segun that kemi would be around
on the following week and my guy came up with a
master plan as usual.
ME: sege, that my babe go arrive next weekend
ooooo
SEGE: bimpe or kemi?
ME: which one be bimpe again jor?, its kemi
SEGE: oooooh, the airtime merchandise?
ME: na you sabi.
SEGE: but is she staying over at your place?, or just
stopping by to visit?
ME: we never discuss that one yet
SEGE: all the same, you must sample that girl at this
only opportunity oooo. Or else, u might not see
another opportunity again.
ME: I go try sha.
SEGE: you must do ni. You know hungry girls like
kemi requires special tactics to get them laid.
ME: really?, gist me.
SEGE: firstly, you must act or fake it that you have
money to spend on her when she is around, you must
be good at fake promises and your mouth must be
loaded with lies, na that thing dey give them hope
say “hmmm, I must maga this guy, e be like say e
get money”
ME: hmmmm sege!!!!, and after that nko? ****getting
interesting*****,

EPISODE THREE

SEGE: you must be smart to play your game wella so
as not to miss the fuccking. Make sure that u post
all the spending till after sex, and not before.
ME: I still don’t understand
SEGE: mr maga, listen. If you spend before planning
to have sex, you might not get it, just keep making
mouth till you get what you want.
ME: I hear you ooooo.
SEGE: when she dey with you. Call me and we go act
drama for her.
ME: mr sege!!!!!, I dey fear you oooo
SEGE: you think say I be mumu like you?. Na me dey
scam girls, girls no dey dupe me. Loooool.
I returned home that night. Segun and I began our
rehearsals on whatsapp ahead of kemi’s arrival. Ever
since I was growing up, I had always have this
mentality that “the more you spend for her, the more
she loves you” but segun changed my orientation and
made me realize that most times, “the more you
spend blindly, the more you are a maga”.
Between monday and Wednesday of the following
week, kemi called me more than 5 times but I didn’t
pick up, I intentionally refused to pick up because I
knew she would always demand for airtime. On
thursday morning, I called her myself.
ME: hello kemi
KEMI: my love, how are you?, why did you refused
picking my calls for the past four days?
ME: I’m sorry, the phone was on silent since sunday
night and I misplaced it since then. I tried calling the
number from another phone to trace it but it wasn’t
ringing out, it was this morning that I found it inside
the kitchen cupboard.
KEMI: eeyah, sorry about that my love, I was thinking
you were with another girl, maybe that’s why you
refused to pick up.
ME: ****oloshi, this one wey you dey call me “my
love” I know say na “send me airtime” go end
am********, baby when are you coming?.
KEMI: I would arrive this evening, but the event is
tomorrow and saturday.
ME: are you staying over at my place?
KEMI: ***laughs****
ME: why laughing?
KEMI: you are funny ni, I’m coming with my family,
we would be staying over at the place provided for
us. since I’m not alone, I won’t be able to stay over
at your place.
ME: huuuuuh, how do I take you out for shopping
then?
KEMI: eeeeeeehhh!!! You mean you want to shop for
me?
ME: yes, I am even buying a phone for you since you
said your phone is giving you issues.
KEMI: huuuuh. That’s why I love you honey. But why
don’t we do it like this?
ME: how?
KEMI: please do all the shopping and bring it to me
where I would be staying, I might not be chanced to
spend time outside, sebi I told you I would be with
my family?
ME: ****heartbroken “oloshi”******* no problem dear,
let’s postpone all the shopping and gifts to another
day that you would have time. I can’t just be roaming
about supermarkets alone on my own without you by
my side, I would only come and say Hi to you
wherever you are. That’s all
KEMI: common dear, so you won’t bring anything for
me?
ME: not sure, maybe apples only sha.
KEMI: haba!!!, ok you know what!
ME: what?
KEMI: let me get to akure first, then I would know
how to squeeze out time to go out with you.
ME: that’s my baby
KEMI: are you happy now?
ME: off course. So what time will u get to akure?
KEMI: can’t say yet, but we would leave home by
10am sha.
ME: ok dear, can’t wait to see you
KEMI: same here dear
ME: pls let me know when you are around
KEMI: ok my love, eeeerhm my love, please can you
do me a favour please!!
ME: ***hanged up*****, oloshi, the only favour I have
been doing you is Airtime, “omo-ale”
………………. After the call
I went to work and chat with my friend segun along
side. I narrated my recent action to him and he told
me I was getting smarter. We discussed how kemi’s
package will look like, and trust my guy, he came
with a very brilliant plan. He said we would act like
brothers, I would be the elder brother while he would
be the younger brother.
I smiled and said to myself, “hope say sege no go
push me to jail some day sha”, but on a serious note,
its good to have the good, the bad, and the ugly
friends and I don’t even know the category that
segun belongs to.
After closing for the day’s job at 5pm, I was so tired
and I couldn’t stop over at segun’s house, I went
home straight and fell over the bed to relax. At 7pm,
my phone was ringing and I looked at the screen, it
was my beloved kemi calling.
ME: hello love
KEMI: call me back please ***hanged up****
What is this girl up to?, haba!!!, she had never call for
3 minutes before, always saying “call me back”. I
wait for like 10minutes before returning the call
ME: hello love
KEMI: hi. How are you?
ME: I’m fine, and you?
KEMI: I’m fine too. What happened to your phone the
other time in the morning?
ME: sorry about that jaree, the credit was exhausted
and the call terminated.
KEMI: hmmmmmmmm. I thought you don’t want to
talk to me ni.
ME: haba!!, no naw. So where are you
KEMI: I’m now in akure
ME: really?, where in akure?
KEMI: I don’t know dear, ok hold on let me ask
someone ******background:kemi: pls what is the
name of this place?. Response: oda road***********
ok onihaxy, they said its oda road.
ME: eeeyah, not to far from my area sha. About 30
to 40minute taxi drive.
KEMI: really?
ME: yes. So how do we see?
KEMI: I don’t know yet ooooo, and I would be so
busy tomorrow in cooking assistance.
ME: so what about saturday?
KEMI: I will be busy too
ME: so what do we do now? I can’t wait to see you
dear.
KEMI: same here. Ok let’s do it this way
ME: how?
KEMI: to save time, let’s meet at the shopping plaza,
text the location to me, you will get there before me
and I will meet you there.
ME: *****oloshi, you dey prove smart abi?, na me you
wan use brain for?. Thanks to sege’s tutorials*******
that will be bit difficult dear
KEMI: why?
ME: my younger brother is around and wanted to see
you, infact, he should have travelled yesterday but he
said he would wait till your arrival.
KEMI: who is that? And did you tell him anything
about me?
ME: my cousin .yes I told him lots about you
KEMI: and what was that?
ME: that you are my love, the girl I wanted to marry.
And he said he wanted to see his brother’s wife.
Infact, he has a gift to give you.
KEMI: really?. What is the gift?
ME: he didn’t show me, neither did he tell me. He
said its for you alone and its a surprise. He would
travel immediately after seeing you.
KEMI: oooooo God, and I would be busy oooooo, ok,
let’s see what would happen tomorrow sha.
ME: that’s my love.
KEMI: onihaxy please….
ME: **** interrupted**** heeeeee, honey please I will
call you back, my food is burning seriously.
****hanged up*****
*****Oloshi, I knew that it is “baby send me airtime”
that would follow the “onihaxy please”
At 9pm, I called kemi again to discuss on how we
would meet.
ME: hi love
KEMI: how are you dear?
ME: I’m fine, and you?
KEMI: I’m doing great.
ME: so how do we see and when?,
KEMI: let’s see if I could sneak out tomorrow to see
you. Hope your place isn’t far from here?
ME: no dear, its along the main road. If you take a
bike, the bike man will drop you exactly infront of my
house.
KEMI: please I won’t stay long outside because of my
family, I don’t want them to suspect that I’m missing.
So you would stay infront of your house and the
same bike that brought me would takes us both to
the outing.
ME: ***oloshi, na me you dey prove smart for abi?
*******, no problem dear
KEMI: alright dear, what are the things you are
buying for me?
ME: just wait till tomorrow and see the surprises that
awaits you.
KEMI: that’s why I love you. Baby please transfer
little airtime to me please
ME: it late, and I don’t have sufficient airtime on my
phone. Let’s make it tomorrow.
KEMI: ok dear, take care
ME: bye ***hanged up********

I chat with segun after to call to gist him about
kemi’s outdoor plans. I was so confused on how to
convince her to bed. Segun assured me that I
shouldn’t worry as he would take charge of
everything. We had our last rehearsals that night on
his plans of how to execute kemi’s parole.
8am the second day which was friday, I woke up very
early. I had took a time off from work earlier on
thursday on the pretence that I was sick and needed
to go to the hospital for treatment. I changed my
bedsheets, stocked my portable fridge with 3 can
malts and fruits, I went to the nearby chemist to
purchase a pack of condom and I sprayed the whole
room with air refresher. Indeed, nobody cleans a
house faster than a guy expecting a new girl.
9:25am, kemi flashed me and I called back,
ME: hello love
KEMI : hi dear.
ME: how was your night?
KEMI: it was fine. Where is my airtime?
ME: I’m sorry dear, I’m still on bed, I haven’t gone
out yet
KEMI: why can’t you send your brother to buy it?
ME: he went out very early this morning and he
hasn’t returned yet.
KEMI: send your address, I should be on my way any
moment from now. And first thing, I will collect my
airtime when I arrive.
ME: ok love, no problem.
KEMI: bye
ME: bye.
I sent the detailed address to kemi and I also inform
my goon (segun) about kemi’s coming. 35minutes
later, segun arrived fully dressed and pulling a leather
box. We hugged and gist about how we would
execute our plans neatly. While we were having gists
and fun. My phone rang and it was kemi calling.
ME: hi love, where are you?
KEMI: I just dropped from a bike at the front of your
house, Please come outside and let’s hurry up, the
bike-man is waiting.
ME: ok *****hanged up*******.
I turned to segun with a sad face full of
disappointment. Segun saw the look on my face.
ME: segun, I’m not sure this plan will work out?
SEGE: why not leave all the plans to the event
planner?.
ME: but she still insisted on waiting outside?
SEGE: mr maga, just calm down. Let’s go outside
and welcome her, I will take charge of the situation.
Trust me my guy.
ME: yes boss
************************************
We went outside together to meet kemi. As we
stepped out of the door, I saw a young lady standing
by a bike-man at the other side of the road. I was so
disappointed in what I saw, kemi wasn’t as pretty and
adoring as the lady I have been seeing on facebook.
Her face looked so rough and full of spots compared
to the clean and radiating face I have been seeing on
facebook. Is that the babe? “Segun asked me”. I
guess so “I replied”.
I picked my phone to call her she picked. She saw
me at the other side of the road but she refused to
cross, she was waving her hand to me that I should
cross over and she was pointing at the bikeman at
the same time.
ME: ****whispers**** segun, you sure say this babe
go sure?
SEGE: just calm down and leave everything to me.
Segun and I crossed to the other side of the road
and we walked closer to kemi.
ME: ***hugs****hi love
KEMI: hi dear.
ME: meet my brother segun I was telling you about,
******introduced her to segun*****
SEGE: ***hands shake**** its nice meeting you our
wife.
KEMI: ****smiled*****. Onihaxy, Please I don’t want
to stay long outdoor, I sneaked out of the house and
I must return before they find out that I’m missing.
SEGE: lailai, that cannot be possible. Don’t you know
I have been waiting here for the past 3 days just to
meet you?, I should have travelled 2 days ago but I
decided to wait and see our wife so as to give our
parents feedback when I reached home.
ME: yeah, he is right
KEMI: ***smiled**** but you have seen me now. I
don’t want to stay outdoor for long please
SEGE: ****moved closer to kemi****so you mean
main road reception is the best you can give to your
father in-law. Common baby, don’t abuse tradition,
come in and let’s know each other formally.
******held kemi’s hand****
KEMI: oooooooooh God.
ME: ****silent and watching******
KEMI: but the bikeman is here waiting.
SEGUN: ***moved closer to the bike while kemi and I
were walking away slowly****** how much is your
money?
BIKEMAN: 200naira
Segun paid the bikeman and the bikeman drove
away. I was amazed how segun got to know that
kemi hasn’t paid her bike fare. I guess he observed
the situation. Segun catch up with us and we crossed
together. Segun began to chat with kemi and they
were flowing nicely. He took charge of the whole
situation as we entered the room. He entertained
kemi, asked her about her work, school, life generally
and kemi was flowing well. I was only letting out
smiles and interrupting because segun really
surprised me. After about 8 minutes of having fun
chat with kemi, segun stood up and pulled his leather
box.
SEGE: bros, I’m travelling. Let me give you and your
wife some privacy
ME: ****laughs*** ok bro. My regards to mummy
KEMI: I will soon be going too.
SEGUN: so soon?. That reminds me. I promised you a
gift. I will tell bro onihaxy to give you.
KEMI: *****smiled and appreciate*** thanks my
inlaw.
SEGUN: ehn ehn bros, what about the money you
want to give me now?,
ME: I thought you have forgotten
SEGE: forget ke?, lailai.
ME: that’s even good. To make things easier. Take
this ATM. *****bring out atm card from my wallet
and hand it over to segun. Withdraw 50k from the
account.
SEGE: eeeeeeh bros, everything for me?.
ME: no, my wife and I are going out for shopping. I
will. Only give you the amount you request for, I want
to use the rest for shopping.
KEMI: *****smiled and feeling relaxed and
comfortable.
SEGE: ****winked at me*****. Bros, that money
won’t be enough to shop for our wife after deducting
mine. Please go with enough cash.
ME: hmmmmmmmmm. So you and your wife want to
drain my account abi?
SEGE: no bros. Just do the needful, first impression
last longer.
KEMI: ****felling more relaxed**** bro segun. Don’t
mind your elder brother jaree. He is too stingy.
ME: hmmmmmm, ok, withdraw 60k then. You should
take 10k while my wife and I will use the remaining
50k.
SEGE: that’s my lovely brother, let me rush down to
the nearest ATM.
KEMI: ******feeling totally relaxed****. Thanks jaree
uncle segun. Please be fast, I won’t be staying long.
SEGE: **pats kemi on the shoulder*** I will be right
back dear. Even me, I need to travel earlier.
ME: ok ooooooooo. Husband and wife
KEMI: onihaxy, na jealousy go kill you
SEGE: ***laughs*****. Erhmmm, bros, I dey come.
Segun walked out of the room. On closing the door,
he yelled from outside. “Bro onihaxy, come and see
something”. I excused myself from kemi and went
outside to meet segun.
ME: guy u try ooooo. This your small head, na so so
bad thing full am.
SEGE: sebi I told you to leave every plans to the
event planner na.
ME: that’s my guy.
SEGE: you no well ni. I don buy time for you. Use it
well and fucck the girl wella. I no wan hear story
ooooo.
ME: so what will happen to the atm card issue na?. I
have only 2,500naira in the account.
SEGE: ******laughs*****, Mr maga, who told you I
want to withdraw money from the account in the first
place?. Abeg go fucck wetin you want to Bleep
jareeee.
I went back inside the room and met my kemisola
fully relaxed and balanced.

I chat with segun after to call to gist him about
kemi’s outdoor plans. I was so confused on how to
convince her to bed. Segun assured me that I
shouldn’t worry as he would take charge of
everything. We had our last rehearsals that night on
his plans of how to execute kemi’s parole.
8am the second day which was friday, I woke up very
early. I had took a time off from work earlier on
thursday on the pretence that I was sick and needed
to go to the hospital for treatment. I changed my
bedsheets, stocked my portable fridge with 3 can
malts and fruits, I went to the nearby chemist to
purchase a pack of condom and I sprayed the whole
room with air refresher. Indeed, nobody cleans a
house faster than a guy expecting a new girl.
9:25am, kemi flashed me and I called back,
ME: hello love
KEMI : hi dear.
ME: how was your night?
KEMI: it was fine. Where is my airtime?
ME: I’m sorry dear, I’m still on bed, I haven’t gone
out yet
KEMI: why can’t you send your brother to buy it?
ME: he went out very early this morning and he
hasn’t returned yet.
KEMI: send your address, I should be on my way any
moment from now. And first thing, I will collect my
airtime when I arrive.
ME: ok love, no problem.
KEMI: bye
ME: bye.
I sent the detailed address to kemi and I also inform
my goon (segun) about kemi’s coming. 35minutes
later, segun arrived fully dressed and pulling a leather
box. We hugged and gist about how we would
execute our plans neatly. While we were having gists
and fun. My phone rang and it was kemi calling.
ME: hi love, where are you?
KEMI: I just dropped from a bike at the front of your
house, Please come outside and let’s hurry up, the
bike-man is waiting.
ME: ok *****hanged up*******.
I turned to segun with a sad face full of
disappointment. Segun saw the look on my face.
ME: segun, I’m not sure this plan will work out?
SEGE: why not leave all the plans to the event
planner?.
ME: but she still insisted on waiting outside?
SEGE: mr maga, just calm down. Let’s go outside
and welcome her, I will take charge of the situation.
Trust me my guy.
ME: yes boss
************************************
We went outside together to meet kemi. As we
stepped out of the door, I saw a young lady standing
by a bike-man at the other side of the road. I was so
disappointed in what I saw, kemi wasn’t as pretty and
adoring as the lady I have been seeing on facebook.
Her face looked so rough and full of spots compared
to the clean and radiating face I have been seeing on
facebook. Is that the babe? “Segun asked me”. I
guess so “I replied”.
I picked my phone to call her she picked. She saw
me at the other side of the road but she refused to
cross, she was waving her hand to me that I should
cross over and she was pointing at the bikeman at
the same time.
ME: ****whispers**** segun, you sure say this babe
go sure?
SEGE: just calm down and leave everything to me.
Segun and I crossed to the other side of the road
and we walked closer to kemi.
ME: ***hugs****hi love
KEMI: hi dear.
ME: meet my brother segun I was telling you about,
******introduced her to segun*****
SEGE: ***hands shake**** its nice meeting you our
wife.
KEMI: ****smiled*****. Onihaxy, Please I don’t want
to stay long outdoor, I sneaked out of the house and
I must return before they find out that I’m missing.
SEGE: lailai, that cannot be possible. Don’t you know
I have been waiting here for the past 3 days just to
meet you?, I should have travelled 2 days ago but I
decided to wait and see our wife so as to give our
parents feedback when I reached home.
ME: yeah, he is right
KEMI: ***smiled**** but you have seen me now. I
don’t want to stay outdoor for long please
SEGE: ****moved closer to kemi****so you mean
main road reception is the best you can give to your
father in-law. Common baby, don’t abuse tradition,
come in and let’s know each other formally.
******held kemi’s hand****
KEMI: oooooooooh God.
ME: ****silent and watching******
KEMI: but the bikeman is here waiting.
SEGUN: ***moved closer to the bike while kemi and I
were walking away slowly****** how much is your
money?
BIKEMAN: 200naira
Segun paid the bikeman and the bikeman drove
away. I was amazed how segun got to know that
kemi hasn’t paid her bike fare. I guess he observed
the situation. Segun catch up with us and we crossed
together. Segun began to chat with kemi and they
were flowing nicely. He took charge of the whole
situation as we entered the room. He entertained
kemi, asked her about her work, school, life generally
and kemi was flowing well. I was only letting out
smiles and interrupting because segun really
surprised me. After about 8 minutes of having fun
chat with kemi, segun stood up and pulled his leather
box.
SEGE: bros, I’m travelling. Let me give you and your
wife some privacy
ME: ****laughs*** ok bro. My regards to mummy
KEMI: I will soon be going too.
SEGUN: so soon?. That reminds me. I promised you a
gift. I will tell bro onihaxy to give you.
KEMI: *****smiled and appreciate*** thanks my
inlaw.
SEGUN: ehn ehn bros, what about the money you
want to give me now?,
ME: I thought you have forgotten
SEGE: forget ke?, lailai.
ME: that’s even good. To make things easier. Take
this ATM. *****bring out atm card from my wallet
and hand it over to segun. Withdraw 50k from the
account.
SEGE: eeeeeeh bros, everything for me?.
ME: no, my wife and I are going out for shopping. I
will. Only give you the amount you request for, I want
to use the rest for shopping.
KEMI: *****smiled and feeling relaxed and
comfortable.
SEGE: ****winked at me*****. Bros, that money
won’t be enough to shop for our wife after deducting
mine. Please go with enough cash.
ME: hmmmmmmmmm. So you and your wife want to
drain my account abi?
SEGE: no bros. Just do the needful, first impression
last longer.
KEMI: ****felling more relaxed**** bro segun. Don’t
mind your elder brother jaree. He is too stingy.
ME: hmmmmmm, ok, withdraw 60k then. You should
take 10k while my wife and I will use the remaining
50k.
SEGE: that’s my lovely brother, let me rush down to
the nearest ATM.
KEMI: ******feeling totally relaxed****. Thanks jaree
uncle segun. Please be fast, I won’t be staying long.
SEGE: **pats kemi on the shoulder*** I will be right
back dear. Even me, I need to travel earlier.
ME: ok ooooooooo. Husband and wife
KEMI: onihaxy, na jealousy go kill you
SEGE: ***laughs*****. Erhmmm, bros, I dey come.
Segun walked out of the room. On closing the door,
he yelled from outside. “Bro onihaxy, come and see
something”. I excused myself from kemi and went
outside to meet segun.
ME: guy u try ooooo. This your small head, na so so
bad thing full am.
SEGE: sebi I told you to leave every plans to the
event planner na.
ME: that’s my guy.
SEGE: you no well ni. I don buy time for you. Use it
well and fucck the girl wella. I no wan hear story
ooooo.
ME: so what will happen to the atm card issue na?. I
have only 2,500naira in the account.
SEGE: ******laughs*****, Mr maga, who told you I
want to withdraw money from the account in the first
place?. Abeg go fucck wetin you want to Bleep
jareeee.
I went back inside the room and met my kemisola
fully relaxed and balanced.

EPISODE FIVE

I went back into the room, lock the door and sat on my
bed closer to kemi staring at her appearance, she
looked different from what I saw on facebook but her
boobs and butts are the same. She was putting on a
jean trouser with a blue top.
ME: you are looking prettier than the kemi I saw on
facebook
KEMI: I know you are teasing me
ME: I’m so serious baby
KEMI: thanks dear
ME: you are welcome
KEMI: that reminds me, where is my airtime?
ME: *****oloshi, this girl don craze ooo*** I
remembered dear, I will buy it for you when we are
going out
KEMI: that’s why I love you. How much?
ME: maybe 400naira.
KEMI: thanks darling
ME: you are welcome, *** stretched my hand and
placed her palm on mine**** don’t mind my brother, he
is very funny
KEMI: **grin** indeed, and he is nice
ME: really?, how?
KEMI: instincts.
ME: hmmmmmmmm, so how is everything with you?,
never knew I would see you so soon ******teasing her
palm with my middle finger.
KEMI: so you think I won’t show up?
ME: not really, just that I thought you were pulling my
legs.
KEMI: I see!!
I drew closer to kemi, I held her second hand with
mine, looked into her eyes for a few seconds and our
heads was getting closer. Finally, our lips met and we
began to kiss. The kiss was getting deeper as she
began to press my head closer. I began to move my
hand downward to her neck, I tickled her cleavage and
was about dipping my hands into her breasts when she
resisted me. I felt sad but never gave up, we kissed
again and I made the second attempt of locating her
breast, but this time, I went through her under-gown
instead of the top, I found her bra and intended dipping
my hands inside it but she resisted again. ***which
kind witchcraft be this na***.
I ignored the breast, I moved my hands down to the
abdomen and tickled the round spot on it and she
began to jerk gradually, ****hmmm, every girl has
different weak point ooo. Bimpe’s own was her Tip
while this one na abdomen*****, I noticed her that her
mood was getting more passionate, I continued on the
abdomen for more seconds, I noticed some tiny hairs
directly below the navel and I played with the hairs as I
traced it downward, the jerking was increasing as she
began to let out soft moans, she removed her mouth
from mine, pushed her head upwards and placed her
neck on my lips. I utilised the opportunity and kissed
her neck down to her cleavage. This time, I decided to
go upward to the breast again and behold, there was
no resistance. I pushed up her top, pulled out the
breasts from the bra. Pushed her back on the bed as I
began to manipulate the Tips, the moaning continued
but the tempo never increased. I can tell it when a girl
isn’t enjoying a breast sucking so I changed tactics. I
decided to suck the entire Tip and choke my mouth
with as much flesh as possible and gently squeezing
the second breast. This time, the moans was
increasing in tempo.
I decided to upgrade, I moved the left hand downwards
while still sucking and swapping the Tips. I traced my
hands down to the navel and I noticed that she jerked
again just like she did the first time. I traced the tiny
hairs beneath the abdomen and my trace led me
straight to the button of her jeans trouser. *****chai,
which kind of obstacle is this?, why can’t she wear a
skirt or gown?*******.
I tried loosing the button and she held me hand and
screamed “stop!!!”.
ME: what is it dear?
KEMI: ****wears her top very well and adjusted her
bra*****. What are you trying to do?, you want to have
sex with me?, on a first date?.
ME *****silent and nodded sideways****
KEMI: so you invited me here because of sex.
ME: no dear.
KEMI: then let’s stop it. This is our first date, and
besides, your brother should be on his way back.
ME: ********frowned and sad*****
ME: no problem then
KEMI: that’s my baby
ME: ****silent and frowned*****
KEMI: please call bro segun to hurry up, I need to
return on time
ME: *****silent, no response******
KEMI: ******came closer******* onihaxy, I am talking
to you now
ME: *****frowned****** I didn’t hear you before.
KEMI: what’s wrong with you?
ME: nothing, I’m fine ****oloshi, how I go take Bleep
this girl ooooooooo, abi make I rake for her??*********
KEMI: ok oooooooooooooooooo. ****kept mute
too*********
Minutes later, my phone rang, it was segun but I
refused to pick up. The calls kept coming in but I
refused to pick
KEMI: your brother is calling you, pick your calls
ME: *****sege go dey think say I dey busy bleeping
kemi now oooo, him no go know say water to pass
garri******. Pick it yourself
KEMI: nawa oooooo ****picks call******, hello bro
segun
I didn’t hear segun’s speech but I could hear kemi
replying her that she was fine. I think he requested to
speak with me and she passed the phone to me.
ME: how far sege?
SEGE: I dey, how far?, you don dig her?
ME: no oooo
SEGE: why na?, wetin happen?
ME: nothing jaree.
SEGE: you dey vex me oooo. Give her the phone jaree.
ME: ok ****i handed the phone to kemi and the
continued their conversation****
KEMI: your brother said he would soon be back that he
is on a queue.
ME: *******silent and frowned*******
KEMI: ******came closer****, onihaxy my love, what is
wrong with you?
ME: nothing. Kemi, I think you just inspired me.
KEMI: really?, how?
ME: that someone shouldn’t rush into things especially
on first dates.
KEMI: I don’t understand ****raised eye brow*****
ME: according to you, first date should be for simple
meetings and discussions, not for adventures.
KEMI: what does that implies?
ME: I’m no more in mood for any shopping for now,
maybe tomorrow or some other time.
KEMI: *******yelled****** so because you want to take
me out for shopping, you wanted to get sex in return
right?. If that is the case, keep your shopping and let
me be
ME: ****scope*** you aren’t a prostitute or ordinary
girlfriend but a finance and a lover whom I am ready to
take to my family, I didn’t reason it that today is a first
date before I planned hosting you for outings. I only
believed that new lovers should have this mentality of
yours. We have been dating for over 3 years now. So
why this issue of first date of a thing…..bla bla
bla*****

EPISODE SIX

yourself take care. ***stood up and was about to
leave****
ME: ***i wanted to beg her but I remembered that she
doesn’t even have a T.fare to return home and besides,
she still wanted airtime, na so I come dey form*****.
KEMI: ****walked towards the door, held the handle of
the door but she refused to open, after few seconds,
she looked back**** onihaxy, and I love you more than
all this things you are doing to me oo. Why are you
treating me this way?, despite how much I love you
***wanted to cry****
ME: ***yeah, trap don catch her, she wan chop 50k
awuf shopping and she no wan loose 400naira
airtime**** I stood up, walked up to the door, held her
hands and looked into her eyes,***
Baby, you know I love you too. I have always loved you
and I will forever love you.
Before we know what was happening, our lips found
each other and we began to kiss passionately as we
were both standing by the door
My lips were locked into kemi’s mouth as we began to
kiss at the door, she left the door handle and rest her
back on the door and I turned around also to face her,
we continued kissing as she wrapped my neck into her
arms. My hand began to move downward to her neck, I
spent little seconds there before taking it down to her
chest. I didn’t bother to insert my hands into her
blouse but I was squeezing and smooching her breast
from outside her cloth. Kemi was moaning but I wasn’t
satisfied with her tempo. Immediately I remembered
that her response was unique when I touched the
abdomen few moments ago. I decided to move my
hand away from her breast and took it down to her
abdomen. Kemi jerked instantly and kissed me harder
*****yeah, I don get am******. I was tickling her navel
and kissing at the same time until we moved away
from the door and landed on the bed.
I continue tickling her abdomen and she was rubbing
my back in response. I moved my hand upward and
traced it to her bra. I pulled out the breasts from the
cup and began to squeeze. Kemi was lost in ecstacy
as she pushed up her head and her neck was on my
lips.
I pushed up her top to reveal her breasts. ****chai, it
was loaded and bouncing*****.
I was squeezing one breast and sucking the other. I
was swapping the breasts at intervals and taking her
cleavage into consideration.
I walked my hand downward to her navel and traced
the tiny hairs below it down to the button of her jeans.
****fear dey catch me to unlock the button******. I
began to play with the button like a confused kid and
my dick was fully erect and thirsty for a Bleep. After
few seconds of beating around the bush. I developed
the courage to give it another try and unlock the
button.
As I was about to loose it, kemi placed her hand on my
hand but she never pulled my hand off, ***chai, omo
see little resistance****. I decided to suck the Tips
more passionately and her moans increased, in
between the moans, I unlocked the button and loosen
the zip of the jeans. I dipped my hand inside her pants
and behold, kemi was seriously wet.
*****onihaxy, e be like say tot sure for you today
ooo******, I dipped the hand further to the beneath of
her pusssy and the fluid was dripping on my finger. I
removed my mouth from her breast and returned to her
lips and began to kiss kemi as my hand was set for
manipulation underneath. I located her clit and was
handling it. Kemi was jerking, moaning and moving
closer to me as I was kissing at the same time.
After few seconds, I took the finger downward to her
kitten hole and immersed it into the stream, ****in-out-
in-out***** my finger began to move and kemi
continued moaning harder. I continued this for about 2
minutes until I gathered enough courage to pull off the
jeans from her legs. The jean was so tight, so in other
not to turn her off, I would finger Bleep her, pause for
a moment to pull the jean downward a little and then
return to mu handjob until I was able to successfully
remove the trouser. The pant was still remaining on her
waist but I didn’t see it as an obstacle since it was a
low waist pant with a tiny thread underneath. Kemi was
full wet and had cummed on my finger. I could see the
eagerness in her to have sex as she was moving her
hand down to my trousers and unhooking my belt. I left
her to finish the unhooking as I continued with my
hand job. Kemi pulled my trouser and boxers downward
a little and she began to cuddle and play with my
thirsty and erected rod. After about 1 minute, I moved
ontop of kemi, still kissing her and patted her pants
sideways, I used my hand to locate the hole and was
about burying my rod inside of it when kemi used her
hand to block the passage and she said “onihaxy
stop!!!”.
I looked at her and I was like “stop wetin?, after getting
to this level?”.
.
More stories @ www.chorusman.com
ME: what’s that dear?, ****sad face****
KEMI: I don’t think this is right for us to do.
ME: baby, I love you, you need to know how much u
mean to me. I can’t just do without you ****sweet talks
continue****
KEMI: I know you loved me but I don’t think its right for
us to have sex.
ME: ****confused and silent*****.
I moved my head closer to hers and resumed kissing
her. I was squeezing her breasts at the same time with
my dick still erect but restricted from drilling by kemi’s
hand. After few moment of confused kissing, kemi
whispered “where is your condom?”. I smiled instantly
and was back to life, it was as if someone took a visa
from me and the returned it back.
I dipped my hand underneath my mattress and brought
out a pack of condom while still kissing. I paused the
kiss and tore the condom pack, positioned it on my
dick and wore it. Kemi saw the condom on my dick and
that was when she removed the hand that was blocking
the Kitty-Cat entrance. I drilled into kemi in a
missionary style and began to Bleep her ***in-out-in-
out****. I was complementing her with a kiss at the
same time. Kemi seems to have this big hips restricting
me from deep penetration, then I placed my two hands
under her a$$ to press the a$$ closer to me each time
I returned after going up. Later, I raised up her two
legs and spread them wide apart. **chaiiii, the
penetration was to the fullest. After about 5 minutes,
kemi said “what if bro segun is coming?” I replied.
“Don’t worry, he would call me or knock on the door”.
She replied with a sweet moan of “hmmmmmmm”. I
released one of her legs, turned it sideways and
pushed the other leg in same direction as I make her
face my dick with her ass as she was lieing on the bed
and I knelt behind the a$$$. I used my hand to push up
one of the butts so as to reveal the pusy hole while I
used the other hand to bury my condomized dick into
it. Kemi was moaning heavily and screaming at this
same time. I was deriving more pleasure because the
moans was kinda sexy. I bleeped her for another 6
minutes before I cummed. I removed the condom from
my dick and dropped it at the side of my bed as I lied
down behind kemi to cuddle her.
KEMI: are you now satisfied?
ME: **raised eyebrow*** as how?
KEMI: have you now accomplished your mission?
ME: my love, I’m not on any mission. I was with my
wife and we had a nice moment together.
KEMI: **smiled***, where is your bathroom?, I need to
shower before bro segun comes. I need to return home
on time.
ME: ok dear.
I lead her to the bathroom, I flushed the used condom
and return back to the room leaving kemi in the
bathroom to clean up. I picked my phone to gist segun
on whatsapp as I was dressing up at the same time.
ME: sege, how you dey?
SEGE: I dey fine ooo.
ME: I don Bleep her oooo.
SEGE: “oloshi” I know, I dey behind your window and I
dey hear as una dey drag the issue of condom
ME: “were ni e” bad boy. So what next?
SEGE: I will call you.
Kemi came out of the bathroom and began to dress
up. I cleared my chats on my phone. Kemi was through
with the dressing and she told me to call my brother
because she would soon be leaving.
KEMI: onihaxy, please call your brother, time is going
and I need to go back home on time.
ME: ****scrolling through my phone*** I don’t know
what is delaying him since, he is travelling today and
he had to go on time.
KEMI: please call him abeg ***restless***
ME: **dial segun’s number and placed on
loudspeaker****. Hello guy, where are you now?
SEGE: bros I’m sorry, there was a long queue at the
ATM, when there was about 6 people before me on
the queue, the ATM went out of cash and couldn’t
dispense money.
KEMI: haaaaaaaaaaa **oh God***
ME: haaaa, so what are you doing now?
SEGE: I am on my way to zenith back ATM at
hospital road, I should be there in a moment.
KEMI: ***restless, I don’t think I can wait***
ME: segun please hurry up, my love has to return
back home on time.
SEGE: ok bro ****hanged up*****

EPISODE SEVEN

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